Congrats, Conservatives, you are making UTTER FOOLS OF YOURSELVES.
So I live in residence, as most of you already know. The doors that open up onto the hallway are unlocked with card keys, the slots of which, of course, are perfect for sticking flyers into. People aren’t supposed to go around soliciting or leaving flyers or anything, but let’s be real here, that doesn’t stop anyone. And what with the election coming up, we’ve been getting a bunch of nice glossy little political flyers stuck in our key slots to encourage us to vote one way or the other.
Well, today, my roommate stepped out into the hall to go to her boyfriend’s place…
… and found this.
[Tchy, an androgynous white person with black wire-framed glasses, a faded blue-green fauxhawk, and an extremely amused expression, holds up a piece of cardstock. It is split into two colours (red on the top and black on the bottom). White text in the top half reads, “The last time it was cool to be a Liberal…” and in the bottom, it continues, “… Justin Bieber was just a baby.”]
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS.
The back just makes it even more ridiculous, of course.
[Tchy holds the paper close to the camera so the text on the back is visible. The background is blue, with white text. On the left is the Conservative Party’s Logo, a large white C with a red maple leaf in the centre. Under the logo, it says, “Join the Conservatives.” Beneath that is the website address CPCenergy.ca and a line of tiny white text at the bottom that is not legible. On the right side, it reads as follows.
"A lot can change in a few years.
"Like Justin Bieber’s voice.
"In Canada, the last time it was cool to be a Liberal, Justin Bieber was just a baby.
"Now Bieber makes millions singing "Baby, Baby, Baby," and the Liberals are singing the blues.
"If you see a sad Liberal, tell them to grow up and join the party of today and the party of the future.
"Join the Conservatives."]
Seriously, who thought this was a good marketing strategy? WHAT DOES JUSTIN BIEBER HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
Not to mention, has he authorized his name for this? How does he feel about his name being used as part of a Conservative elections campaign? Seriously, what even.
Not to mention, some lovely ageist overtones there, congratulations Conservative party, that’s a brilliant way to win over young people.
And, if I can be actually serious here for a moment, it always sort of weirds me out when a conservative political party of any description bills themselves as “the party of the future.” Legitimately, I just don’t understand. Look back on history—sure, there have been decades of backsliding every now and then, but the overwhelming trend is for society (speaking specifically from my experience as a Canadian, but from my limited assessment this seems to apply to most of the rest of the world, too) to be getting less and less conservative as time goes by. We gain more social freedom, more political freedom, more rights… and yet people try to talk about conservative philosophy as the way of the future.
Look, conservatives—all of history is against you here. Today’s society is more liberal than it was fifty years ago, and fifty years ago it was more liberal than it was one hundred years ago. And people have been trying to “return to traditional values” for centuries, millennia even, and it hasn’t taken and the world has gotten more and more liberal, overall. So what, exactly, makes you think you’re going to be the ones to finally reverse that trend and make the society of fifty years into the future more conservative than it is today? That sounds really arrogant to me. Not to mention stubborn and pointless. Why would I join the side that history says is going to lose?
Especially with such a ridiculous marketing campaign. I mean, really.
My name is Jared, or you can just call me Tchy. I'm a queer kid just kickin' around on the internet. I like writing, fantasy, late nights, books, lions, punk, and queer politics. I sustain myself mainly on a diet of chocolate, salt and vinegar chips, and strong tea in a mug decorated with dirty Shakespeare quotations. Sometimes I like to draw inappropriate things.
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